You can identify the following Syndromes:
-F.O.L. (Full Of Liquor)
-W.O. T.A.M. (Waste of Time & Money)
-You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
-Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago’s water tank.
You_avoid unhealthy looking COPDers in the mall for fear that they’ll drop near you and you’ll have to do CPR on your day off.
-You’ve ever held a 14-gauge needle over someone’s vein and said, “Now your going to feel a little stick.”
-You can identify the ‘PID Shuffle” and the “Kidney Stone Squirm” at 15 feet.
-You’ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, “I’m afraid of shots.”
-You stare at someone in utter disbelief when they actually cover their mouth to cough.
-You automatically multiply by three the number of drinks a patient claims to have daily.
-You can keep a straight face when a patient responds, “Just two beers.”
-You develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from constantly locking and unlocking the Narcotic Cabinet
-Your idea of a meal break is finishing your coffee before it gets cold
-Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal
-You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce
-You believe the ‘On-call Nurse’ program is a satanic plot
-You refer to vegetable and you don’t mean the food group
-You know the local detox center number by heart
-You believe a book entitled ‘Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time’ will be your next project