Med student to patient: “Well, Mr Smith, I’m afraid you’re not quite as sick as we’d hoped.”
Med Student: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be 80.
Patient: But I am 80 right now.
Med Student: See, what did I tell you.
Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Student: Don’t bite any!
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot.
Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.
First day of class, the professor decides to try and get to know his new students and their motivation for taking his class. He goes round the room asking each student individually:
Professor to first student “Hello, why don’t you tell us your major, and what your motivation for taking my class is”
Student 1: “I’m an english major and I am just taking this class as part of my general science requirements.”
The professor turns to the next student “and how about you?”
Student 2: “I’m a chemistry major and I just love chemistry.”
The professor smiles and turns to the third student, who happens to be a pre-med
“And what about you?” the professor asks, still smiling.
The pre-med frowns “Does my answer make part of my grade?”