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$640 Million Mega Millions Jackpot Funny Commentaries

 “I asked my wife what she would do if I won the lottery.
She said she would take half and then leave me.
I told her I won $6.00, now here’s $3.00. By By !”

-She should leave you for your spelling: “bye bye”

-man, you should had her to sign a prenup! lol!!

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“I won $10!!! Please, no phone calls.”

-LOL I see lady luck paid you a visit last night…niiiice! 😉

-.37 cents a year for 27 years.. Not bad my friend.

-…i have your ex-wife on the other line…

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“I missed by 5 numbers, so close.”

-You must have a system…do share.

-i didn’t buy a ticket at all i’m think was closer than you

-Bought five tickets not one matching number. There should be a prize for that.

-I didn’t even get to play. Lucky me!
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“RATS! I hope my boss doesn’t get in before me on Monday and open that “I Quit” letter I left on his desk.”

-I guess you better burn the building down so he doesn’t find the letter
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“My husband and I went in on tickets with our coworkers…after splitting the winnings…we are the proud winners of $0.66!”

-I think someone in the group got 67 cents. you got cheated!

-Before or after taxes?

-My advice is to invest those winnings in real estate…lol

-your taxes will be .33 cents

-The tax man is on his way!

-That’s awesome, right there. Don’t let the money go to your head.
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 $640 Millions Jackpot

$640 Millions Jackpot


“Looks like I’ll still be living “IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER”
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“I WANT A RECOUNT, I have the winning ticket they just drew the wrong numbers! “
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“I have for sale, 10 Mega Million quick picks lotto tickets. Good condition, one day old, $9.00 obo.”
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“I’m not a loser…just a delayed winner!”
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“I just can’t believe it! I was SO FRIGGIN SURE that I was gonna win!”

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At least not winning saves a whole lot of deleting of Facebook friends this morning.”
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“I’m 93 years old and I just won the lottery. When I die, I’m leaving it all to my turtle.”
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“I won $2. Still deciding on whether to take the lump sum or the 26 annual payments.”
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“I won $3. Problem is I spent $5 on the ticket. So 40% of what I spent was deficit. Hey, I could be president of the USA!”

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“Congrats and best wishes to the winners!! Now let’s watch all the long lost relatives and friends come popping out of the woodwork”
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“I am glad it is over, now I can go back to fantasizing about women again instead of money.”
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“til’ next time, we don’t give up we’re proud gamblers!”
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