”I asked my wife what she would do if I won the lottery.
She said she would take half and then leave me.
I told her I won $6.00, now here’s $3.00. By By !”
-She should leave you for your spelling: “bye bye”
-man, you should had her to sign a prenup! lol!!
“I won $10!!! Please, no phone calls.”
-LOL I see lady luck paid you a visit last night…niiiice!
-.37 cents a year for 27 years.. Not bad my friend.
-…i have your ex-wife on the other line…
“I missed by 5 numbers, so close.”
-You must have a system…do share.
-i didn’t buy a ticket at all i’m think was closer than you
-Bought five tickets not one matching number. There should be a prize for that.
-I didn’t even get to play. Lucky me!
“RATS! I hope my boss doesn’t get in before me on Monday and open that “I Quit” letter I left on his desk.”
-I guess you better burn the building down so he doesn’t find the letter
“My husband and I went in on tickets with our coworkers…after splitting the winnings…we are the proud winners of $0.66!”
-I think someone in the group got 67 cents. you got cheated!
-Before or after taxes?
-My advice is to invest those winnings in real estate…lol
-your taxes will be .33 cents
-The tax man is on his way!
-That’s awesome, right there. Don’t let the money go to your head.
“Looks like I’ll still be living “IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER”
“I WANT A RECOUNT, I have the winning ticket they just drew the wrong numbers! “
“I have for sale, 10 Mega Million quick picks lotto tickets. Good condition, one day old, $9.00 obo.”
“I’m not a loser…just a delayed winner!”
“I just can’t believe it! I was SO FRIGGIN SURE that I was gonna win!”
“At least not winning saves a whole lot of deleting of Facebook friends this morning.”
“I’m 93 years old and I just won the lottery. When I die, I’m leaving it all to my turtle.”
“I won $2. Still deciding on whether to take the lump sum or the 26 annual payments.”
“I won $3. Problem is I spent $5 on the ticket. So 40% of what I spent was deficit. Hey, I could be president of the USA!”
“Congrats and best wishes to the winners!! Now let’s watch all the long lost relatives and friends come popping out of the woodwork”
“I am glad it is over, now I can go back to fantasizing about women again instead of money.”
“til’ next time, we don’t give up we’re proud gamblers!”
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