Best Medical Careers Top Medical Jobs

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
-By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better

-Medical student: reads entire article but does not understand what any of it means.

-intern: uses journal as a pillow during nights on call.

-resident: would like to read article but eats dinner instead.

Callers are prompted as follows: “Welcome to the psychiatric hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

You Know You’re a Nurse When… Part 1
You Know You’re a Nurse When… Part 3
-You occasionally park in the space with the ‘Physicians Only’ sign, and knock it over.
-You’ve ever told a patient to ‘move toward the light.’
-You’ve ever run out of linens, syringes, IV fluid, meds, and patience all at the same time

You Know You’re a Nurse When… Part 1
You Know You’re a Nurse When… Part 2-You’ve ever had a patient look you dead in the eye and say, “I don’t know how that got stuck in there”
-You find humor in other people’s stupidity

-Management truly believes you are overpaid. But would never work for what they pay you.

-Nurses Are Here To Save Your Ass – Not Kiss It

-Nurses Do It 24 / 7

-Nurses Do It With Gloves On

-Doctors Save Lives – Nurses save Doctors

You Know You’re a Nurse When… Part 2
You Know You’re a Nurse When… Part 3

You can identify the following Syndromes:
-F.O.L. (Full Of Liquor)
-W.O. T.A.M. (Waste of Time & Money)
-You’ve been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control.
-Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago’s water tank.