1. You start answering your own phone with ‘May I help you?’
2. All beds in your home are made with ‘hospital corners’
3. You change more linens than a hotel maid
4. You always knock on your car door before unlocking it
5. Your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at a resident’s bedside and tell a nurse to clean it up
6. You never leave home without your gait belt
7. You’ve had dreams involving bed alarms and call lights
8. Anytime you help someone do something outside of work, you subconsciously want to do it on the count of three
9. You can describe poop with the authority of a famous writer
10. You are the only one at the dinner table not allowed to talk about your day at work
11. A pen with blue ink is totally useless
12. You hear call bells when you are alone at home
13. You look at your dinner plate when your finished and you automatically calculate in your head what your intake was
14. When someone asks you for help outside of work, you check their wrist to see who they are first
15. All catalogs that come to your house are filled with uniforms
16. You end every conversation with ‘just hit your call button if you need me’
17. Half of your workday is spent in a shower
18. You want to bathe your elderly relatives, even though they are alert and independent
19. You get excited to go scrub shopping
20. Your heart melts when a resident tells you he/she can’t wait to have you for a shift.